literature

Omegle Trolling: A Journal- 2

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RebelStarwarrior's avatar
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Literature Text

Omegle, thou beist hilarious. Continue thy lulzcow ways, and be forever smiled upon by thy God of Trolls.

Stranger: hey
Stranger: do u skype
You: NEVER
You: WHAT IS THIS SKYPE YOU SPEAK OF?
You: IS IT A FOOD?
You: A BEVERAGE?
You: WHAT?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: I'M GARY
You: GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK!
Stranger: the pokemon tainer?
You: THE BEST EVER.
You: AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: OOOOOOOOOOOOH
You: LET US SING A SONG OF SCIENCE~
You: A LOVELY SONG OF SCIENCE~
You: SCIENCE SCIENCE SCIENCE~
You: OF THEE WE SIIIIIIIIIIING~
You: OH LOVELY SCIENCE SCIENCE~
You: WE SING A SONG OF SCIENCE~
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: people are gonna tell you that you can't follow your dreams... this is what I tell them.. NEVER SAY NEVER!!
You: NEVER EVER, BRO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: rawr
You: I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST
You: THAT NO ONE EVER WAS
Stranger: I WANNA BE BETTER
You: TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST
You: TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE
Stranger: NO
You: I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND
You: SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE
Stranger: I WANNA TRAVEL
You: THESE POKEMON
You: THEY UNDERSTAND
You: THE POWER THAT'S INSIDE
You: POKEMON
Stranger: POKEMON DONT KNOW ENGLISH
Stranger: YOU EAT THE<
Stranger: THEM
You: GOTTA CATCH'EM ALL
Stranger: THEY TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE
You: IT'S YOU AND ME
Stranger: =]
You: I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY
You: POKEMON
Stranger: PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
You: OH YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND
You: IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND
Stranger: i hate the world
Stranger: e.e
You: CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
Stranger: :D
Stranger: MUAHAHAHHAAAAA
You: NO.
You: THAT IS MY LAUGH.
You: BECAUSE ONE DAY
You: I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!
Stranger: >>
Stranger: i already do!!! MUAHAHHAHAHHA
Stranger: I AM
Stranger: BARAK OBAMA
Stranger: MUHAHAHHAHAHA
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: LEGALIZE WEED
You: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: MUAHAHAH
You: LET US BATTLE.
You: TROLL, I CHOOSE YOU!
Stranger: OK!
You: TROLL WAS SENT OUT!
Stranger: >>
You: TROLL USED TROLOLOL
You: IT WAS SUPER-EFFECTIVE!
Stranger: PICACHU I CHOSE YOU!
You: TROLL JUST STARED AT THE PIKACHU.
You: AND LAUGHED.
Stranger: i want mewtwo :(
You: LAUGHED AT THE FUTILITY OF ITS TINY YELLOWNESS.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: THE DATA
You: IT DOES NOTHING
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: HALT
You: THIS IS THE GRAMMAR POLICE
You: YOU ARE BEING ARRESTED FOR LACK OF CAPITALS.
You: HOW DO YOU PLEAD?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: MAMA COFFEE?
Stranger: hey
You: IS THAT YOU?
You: MAMAAAAAAAAAAA
You: I'M HUNGRY.
Stranger: nope
You: COFFEEEEEEEEE
You: COFFEE
You: COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEE </3
You: WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hey
You: Science.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: helloo Xd
You: I CHALLENGE THEE, KNAVE.
You: TO A BATTLE.
Stranger: girl 17 italy
You: TO THE DEATH.
Stranger: how about u?
You: I am an honorouble night, twenty-three summers of age, from across the sea.
You: NOW WILL YOU FIGHT? OR WILL YOU FLEE?
Stranger: how r you? :P
You: Excellent, my opponent.
You: Draw thy sword.
You: *draws sword*
Stranger: whats your name?
You: My name..... is Sir Oak.
You: Sir Gary Motherfucking Oak.
Stranger: here Lisabeth
You: FIGHT ME, COWARD
Stranger: nice to meetu
You: *points sword at you*
You: And I you, my foe.
Stranger: wanna cam?
You: Cam?
Stranger: wanna have fun
You: What is this cam you speak of?
You: Is it magic?
You: WITCHCRAFT?
You: IT'S WITCHCRAFT, IS IT NOT?
You: BURN THE WITCH!
Stranger: its my profil
Stranger: onprofiles.com/id=5Do3
You: BURN THE WITCH AND HER MAGICAL CAM
Stranger: add me there waiting
Stranger: my id name Lisabethxoxoll
You: BURN THE WITCH
You: BURN HER
You: BURN HER
You: *burns the witch*
You: *And goes to have tea*
You: *And slay a dragon later too, perhaps*
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hiiii, 17 f ca horny, you?
You: You have HORNS?
You: You should really get that seen to.
Stranger: do you like talking dirty? ;)
You: Talking about mud?
You: And worms?
You: Neat!
You: I like worms.
Stranger: hehe..ok first, here's a regular pic of me imgur.com/KsVXb :)...but i want you to see my naughty ones before we cyber
You: Worms are neat.
You: They wriggle everywhere.
You: And they make people scream.
You: It's funny.
Stranger: bit.ly/jSJftB ..they're under sxylick23, tell me what you think ;)
You: Think of what?
You: I already told you worms are neat.
You: What more do you need?
You: WORMS~
You: Oh.
You: Mommy wants me for dinner.
You: Gotta go!
You have disconnected.

Stranger: SPAM?
You: SPAM, GOOD MAN.
Stranger: YES!
You: HUZZAH!
Stranger: :D
You: INDEED!
Stranger: SOMEONE WHO FINALLY UNDERSTANDS!
Stranger: WHAT SPAM MEANS
You: UNDERSTANDS THE SPAM!
You: THAT'S IN A CAN!
Stranger: AND A
Stranger: package!
Stranger: :D
You: HUZZAH!
You: SPAM
You: IT'S IN A CAN
Stranger: SPAM
You: AND IN A PRAM
You: IN VIETNAM
You: MADE BY MY MAM
Stranger: WITH A NAPALM
You: WHO DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN
You: ABOUT MY SPAM
You: THAT'S IN A CAN!
Stranger: YA
You: YAAAAAAAAAAAY NAPALM!
Stranger: LETS TELL OBAMA THIS!
You: WE SHALL, GOOD MAN!
You: OBAMA
Stranger: YES!
You: OBAAAAAAAAAAMA
You: OBAMA'S MAMA!
Stranger: SPREAD THE WORD!
You: SPREAD IT!
You: LIKE BUTTER OR CHEESE!
Stranger: CHEESE PLEASE
You: OH YES
You: CHEESE AND CAKE AND TEA
Stranger: YES
Stranger: AND
Stranger: crackers
You: OH YES
You: CRACKERS
You: MANY CRACKERS
Stranger: YES
Stranger: SALTINE CRACKERS
You: SALTINES ARE THE BEST
You: TRUFAX
Stranger: YES
You: I MUST SPREAD THE WORD NOW!
Stranger: GO!
You: GOODBYE, MY GOOD MAN!
Stranger: A WORD FROM GOD!
You: FAREWELL!
Stranger: TO YOU TO GOOD MAN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey asl
You: My name isn't Asl >:c
You have disconnected.

Stranger: moo i'm a pig
You: PIKACHU
You: I CHOOSE YOU!
Stranger: i farted -__-
You: Try Beano, friend. It really works c:
Stranger: then i shall
Stranger: soft!
You: HUZZAH
Stranger: BAM
Stranger: boom
Stranger: blah
Stranger: biatch
You: SCIENCE
Stranger: A TOASTER IN A DRESS
You: MARRYING THE MICROWAVE.
You: SUCH A HAPPY UNION.
You: :'D
Stranger: AWHHHH
Stranger: so cute
You: I know~
You: I remember when Toasty was just a little blueprint <3
Stranger: ima cry
Stranger: <3
You: I know~
You: And little Mic gave her a worm and a flower for her tenth birthday <3
Stranger: no way man
Stranger: thats so freakin cute
Stranger: like ahhhhh
You: I know <3
Stranger: but she's only 12!
You: It's legal in Kitchenland to marry at eleven.
Stranger: insanity!
You: 'Tis the age of adulthood.
Stranger: but shes just a baybay
You: Nuh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh~
Stranger: yes sir
You: GOOD SIR
You: WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOME TEA?
Stranger: i'm allergic!
You: HERE
You: *dumps tea on you*
You: *and then on myself*
You: LET US BE ALLERGIC TOGETHER
Stranger: its so soft
You: I'M MELTING
Stranger: ahhhhhh
You: MEEEEEELTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: CAPITALIZE YOUR GODDAMN SENTENCES, FOO'.
You: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER.
You: DO YOU SPEAK IT?
Stranger: NO BITCH
You: SPEAK YOUR GODDAMN ENGLISH.
You: FOO'.
Stranger: SUCK MY HUGE BLACK COCK
You: I SHALL NOT SUCK UPON YOUR ROOSTER, NO MATTER HOW LARGE IT IS.
You: IT WOULDN'T
You: LIKE
You: IT
You: >:C
You have disconnected.

Stranger: 18 fusa
You: 10 m Kanto
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Name?
Stranger: Name, please.
Stranger: And, it's Donna.
You: I'm Gary.
You: GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK
You have disconnected.

You: ASH KETCHUM
You: I CHALLENGE YOU
Stranger: OMG
You: FEAST YOUR EYES ON GARY OAK!
You: POKEMON MASTER!
Stranger: I CHOOSE ARCEUS
Stranger: HAHA
You: I CHOOSE MISSINGNO.
You: YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.
You: *destroys your Areceus*
You: HA
You: HA HA
You: HA HA HA!
You: HA HA!
You: HA!
You: OHSHI-
Stranger: OH NO
You: *game crash*
You have disconnected.

Stranger: Hi! I'm 21 girl. wanna some sex chating?
You: What's sex?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Mama? Where do babies come from?
Stranger: well son
Stranger: they come from mamas baby factorie
You: The baby factory?
You: *sparkleeyes*
Stranger: yes sonny
Stranger: Mama goes to his factory where she orders a lot of hairy super virile men to do babies for mama because mama is too old for that already
You: Oooooooh.
You: Do they have candy at the baby factory?
Stranger: yea sonny its called "cum" mama drinks it all the time, but u shouldnt its just for girls
You: Yes, mama.
You: That candy has a funny name.
You: I'm gonna go play outside now c:
You have disconnected.

You: And Saint Attila raised the Hand Grenade up on high, saying:
You: "O Lord, bless this thy Hand Grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Tea and dragons are always fun.

WITCHCRAFT
BURN THE WITCH

AND SIR GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK WILL FOREVER BE HAILED AS A HERO ACROSS THE SEA.

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Craft-Mesa's avatar
GARY MOTHERFUCKIN' WITCHCRAFT OAK.